Death at a Funeral
by Pickle Daisy
Summary: No one dies in this, except for Percy. It's really got no plot, just a funny little One-shot I came up with. Please R&R, yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah, and so on so on. T for a bit of language.


"And we are all here today to honor the life and death of Perseus Angelo Jackson. As he was killed by... Wait. Is this true? Is this real? A-"

The priest was interrupted by someone blowing their nose very loudly, and he located the sound to be the dead man's wife, a beautiful young women he believed to be named Annabeth Chase.

"Yes, it's true." A bulky man wearing bermuda shorts and no shirt, despite the temperature said. "Continue."

"As his family gathers around Perseus in honor of him, we say words in remembrance of this caring soul. Would anyone like to come up and say a few words?"

"I would." An older women with graying hair speaks up. The priest stepped aside, and the women took his place. "I'm Sally Jackson, Percy's mother. No one wants to see their kid die before them, and so it came as such a shock, that after all he's been through, such as..." Here, she glanced at the priest, and lowered her eyes. "Never mind. It came as such a shock when me and Paul were told Percy had passed. I thought it was a joke." At that, she stepped down, and took her seat where her husband took her hand and she sobbed quietly into his shoulder.

"Does anyone else wish to speak about this loved one?"

The blonde stood up and scurried over. "I loved him. He took me on my first quest, and I think Zeus was happy with what we accomplished. Was he?"

The man in the bermuda shorts then nodded. "He was pleased, but he didn't show it."

"Well, I had the honor to marry Seaweed Brain, excuse me Poseidon, though at times he could absolutely live up to his nickname, there were times I could almost see him as a son of Athena. I loved him a heck of a lot more then a lot of you, except for maybe Sally and Poseidon, but I truly think he'll still try and escape from Hell again." After speaking, she once again took her seat. A young girl, about sixteen with long silky black hair and no coat stood up and went to the podium.

"I'm Thalia, and Percy, well, yeah. He _was _a Seaweed Brain, and as much as I know I was a tree, I know that he will try and escape from the Underworld again. I think he'll use that excuse, 'Oh, I saved Olympus you owe me' excuse again, as always. I'm just stunned that he died this way. After holding up the sky- oops. Sorry, Father. Ignore what you're about to here. It's just an inside joke. Anyway, after he held up the sky, and after he fought Prometheus, after all that, he died from this. I'm still in shock that the doctors couldn't save him. I'm sure some Nectar and Ambrosia could've saved him, but he always was forgetful... That's all I have to say. Rest in peace, Seaweed Brain." Thalia shouted the last part, as if Percy could hear her. Father Abrams furrowed his eyebrows, but didn't question this groups weird ways. When Thalia returned to her seat, the priest stepped up.

"And now we lower his body-"

"Wait!" A new voice shouted desperately. "I'm here! I'm here!"

It was a bright red-headed girl with shiny green eyes. Her cheeks were rosy from the winter cold, and she was wearing a thick faux fur coat and Uggs. "I have something to say. It's-" Here, she blushed the color of a ripe tomato. "I wrote... well... a poem. I wrote a poem on Percy's life."

"Go on." Thalia encouraged. The redheaded girl glanced up at the priest expectantly.

"Who are you?" The priest asked.

"Rachel Elizabeth Dare. Now can you, you know, step down?"

"Very well." And the priest obeyed. Rachel stepped up, and glanced down at a crumpled piece of paper.

"Here I go." She said nervously. "I don't know if it's any good... but here I go."

"Just go!"

Then, Rachel began to read. "I first met you at Hoover Dam, where you were running for your life. Where you were being chased by skeletons, each holding a knife. I shoved you in the girl's room, and told them where to go. And when they actually listened, I asked myself, how little did I know? I told you when it was safe, and when you should run. Then when you did, an enemy came with a gun. You narrowly escaped them, but just barely at that. After you left, I thought, _Bye-bye, thanks for the chat. _But then one year later, I saw you at a school, and I remembered saying to myself, oh no, another fool. You took me to the music room, and we fought off those monsters, Kelly and some other. Then you left and I covered up, with some story about needing a cup. I starting having dreams about you, like this creepy ocean one, but then I flew that helicopter and thought, _well, this isn't fun. _I became the Oracle, I could tell what lay ahead, but now, of course, Seaweed Brain is dead. I kind-of had a crush on you, before I became Apollo's, and well, I don't know a rhyme for this, except the word indeed. Now you're dead, although still awesome, because today you died by a bite from a possum." Rachel blushed brighter then before. "It sucks, I know. But, he did die by a possum bite..."

"I liked it." Thalia said. "It was kind of funny. And I liked how you told us you couldn't find a rhyme, instead of making a crappy one."

"Thanks, I think."

"Is that all?" Father Abrams said. He was met with silence, which he took as a yes. The priest nodded at the two burly men by the six foot deep hole. They lowered the wooden box into the ground, and everyone took a turn shoveling some dirt in. Afterwards, the priest spoke again. "We honor the life and death of Perseus Angelo Jackson. He lived bravely, and died that way too. Farewell, Perseus. Everyone here shall miss you."

Everyone was silent for a minute, until Thalia broke the silence. "You know what they say, you die as you live. In this case, stupidly."

This earned a few chortles.

**-o-**

After everyone finally left, and the moon was rising over the horizon, a small rodent came scurrying over to Percy's grave. It stood up on it's hind legs, and suddenly it started to morph. When it was finished, it was half human, with long legs and arms, and a furry body. It drew something with it's finger, and spoke.

"Now that my main enemy is down, I must kill exactly sixty three more humans before I can reform! Then, I can return to be Kronos's host, and he can rule the world!"

The possum scurried away, leaving nothing but the initials LC drawn into the freshly dug dirt.

**DUN DUN DUN! LOL. Who would've thought that Percy died from a possum? Oh, and I'll give you three guesses to who LC is. Sorry it's so short. And I'm sorry Rachel's poem sucked, I just had to get this out of my system. **


End file.
